Philly’s Stars Tell the Haters to Take a Seat

There was a hush over the Northeast after Joel Embiid’s dominant, 38 point performance in a win over the Celtics. Not a washed up talking head was stirring, not even a mouse. The big win on the road in Boston continued a week of Philly’s most notable athletes shattering mental barriers.

JOEL’S ZERO TURNOVER 4TH QUARTER:

For Embiid, he was criticized all week and I’m still confused as to why. The criticism stems from the Sixers win over the Nuggets? And Embiid outplayed Jokic in the process, the Center nerds love to say is better than Joel??? Regardless, Joel took it to heart and had his most dominant performance on the road since his 50 point affair in Los Angeles. It wasn’t just that he WAS dominant, it was HOW. Embiid closed the game for the Sixers, something fans had been begging to see. In the 4th quarter; he had 16 points and ZERO turnovers. ZERO. NONE. NADA. THANK GOD.

CARSON WINS IT BY HIMSELF:

It feels like we’ve been on the verge of Carson’s Clutch Game Winner Game like 5 times this year. That’s much in large part to let’s see…BECAUSE WE HAVE. Guy puts the game winner in a receivers hands about once every other week and he gets screwed over. But on Monday night, when the Eagles needed it to save their season and his ammo low, Carson delivered the game tying drive and then the walk-off drive in Overtime. We knew Carson had it in him, it was just a matter of when things would break his way. Who would’ve thought that would happen when he was down to just Greg fucking Ward at receiver.

BEN SIMMONS COMES UP SUPER CLUTCH:

Ben Simmons hit two free throws with less than a minute left in Boston. That’s it. Might be the biggest barrier of them all. The hairs I didn’t rip out of my head are so thankful he did that.

What a week. All of the stars in this city set out and answered each and every criticism of them, taking that said criticism and shoving it up the ass of the respective “analysts” who talked down on their name.