Doris Burke: Raptors Fan or Sixers Hater?

I only have one small complaint about Game 6. A game in which our guys fought their hearts out, spent most of the 2nd half up 20 and forced a Game 7. A HUGE step for the Simmons/Embiid era. Game 6 was perfect, well almost perfect. It left me pondering one puzzling question: 

Is Doris Burke a Toronto Raptors fan or a 76ers hater?

Jeeeeeeeezus. Between her constant criticisms of the Sixers stars and her infatuation with Kawhi Leonard’s hands, I wanted to watch the game on mute. The only thing stopping me was the energy of the raucous crowd at Wells Fargo Center. But even then, Burke was shocked we were so loud and not booing! Oh my god, you’re kidding, you mean Philly fans actually ROOT for their teams and cheer them on? Wow. 

And gee whiz, can you believe those scumbag Philly fans booed in the second quarter, Doris? The audacity of those fans to boo when the opposing team goes on a 12-0 run in a minute and half during a win or go one game. How classless, maybe they should’ve just sat on their hands with their thumbs up their ass and talked about their favorite episodes of Friends during that stretch. How God awful of them to have passion and enthusiasm for a basketball game. 

She also had a near brain aneurysm when the ball went out on James Ennis and the ball was still awarded to Philly. Yet, when Kyle Lowry clearly tipped it out and it stayed with Toronto she presented the call like a store clerk going over the loudspeaker to say to customers that the Barnes and Noble would be closing in 15 minutes. 

She described Kawhi getting a rebound over Boban like it was Lebron’s block on Iggy in Game 7 of the NBA Finals. Drake wears your face on his shirt one time and now she’s a Toronto Raptors super fan. 

I don’t want this blog to be another Philly inferiority complex where everyone hates us and I think everyone is out to get us including announcers. You know how I can prove it? I actually enjoyed Al Michaels and Chris Collinsworth call of the Super Bowl.

This has to do with the rising entertainment value of the league and their inability to find exciting analysts for it. TNT does with the former player, “back in my day” guys and ESPN gives us that train wreck last night. Please tell us more about Joel Embiid being fat and out of shape while he plays the entire 3rd quarter and is a +40.

Luckily, the internet is unforgiving in times like these. Here’s some of the best from the pro-Toronto broadcast:

 

By Aidan Powers | May 10, 2019
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