Puppet Master Lebron Can Keep AD Out West and Out of the Sixers Way

Philly may have lost out on the Lebron sweepstakes (it was rigged, they made it look legit, kinda) but he may have just saved us in another way. Thanks to his marionette, super agent Rich Paul and Klutch Sports, Anthony Davis is on the way out of New Orleans. Like most NBA fans, I knew that this was the moment that rat fuck Danny Ainge in Boston has been waiting for. Luckily for the Sixers, there is no way that Boston could have both Davis and Kyrie this season via trade. That right there is better than sex.

There is nothing that gets me off more than seeing a Boston team squirm, especially the Celtics. They’ve been in turmoil all year. Now, the saving Grace they’ve been looking for is available, and they cannot do a thing about it. It’s great when Ole Danny Ainge handcuffs himself. Since Kyrie is on his rookie max extension this prevents the Celts from acquiring another player (AD) on a max extension under the “Rose Rule”. This rule enables rookies who outperform their rookie contracts with major awards to earn 30% of the salary cap rather than 25%. The rule also prevents a team from acquiring two “Rose Rule” signings via trade. This puts Boston in hot water, some would say its Earl Grey but I prefer a nice Camomile. They are unable to sign Kyrie until the season ends so unless Kyrie is included in a Davis trade, Danny Ainge is powerless. With growing discontent among the team Boston is ripe for an implosion.

This is where Lebron comes in. The NBA says they have “investigated” the possible link between Lebron and Klutch Sports Agency run by Rich Paul, AKA Lebrons childhood friend. Do I believe it? Not a chance. But, if Lebron’s winning, the NBA is pulling money in. Rich Paul and Lebron aren’t stupid, they bend the rules in their favor but never go as far as to actually break one. They know Boston is handcuffed. This opens the door for Magic to offer role players and lottery picks. Rich Paul has to keep the gravy train moving which means Lebron needs at least one title in LA. What better way than to get all his high level clients in one of the biggest markets in the world. I hate Lebron but damn what a hustle, I can’t help but be impressed.

Once again, the NBA proves to be a 24/7 league. Drama is always happening and we will eat that shit up. The Sixers get a nice break from the news cycle and the path through the East is somewhat clear. Just have to make it through The Death Stretch.