Everybody Was Cheating and the Phillies Still Stunk

I don’t know how long you’ve been following baseball but cheating has been all the rage in the recent few dozen decades.

As these teams all have to deal with the fallout of sign stealing in the last few years, a Phillies fan can’t help but be upset that we’ve fired two coaches in four years for having a terribly built team, ridiculous expectations and rubbing too much coconut oil on Schwarzenegger biceps.

Being a Phillies fan has been so god damn disappointing for so god damn long and now you’re telling me they can’t even cheat right?
We’re going to find out 29 teams cheated in the last three seasons the Phillies will be the only ones that didn’t because Gabe was too worried about peeling the skin off his McNuggets.

They got busted in 2010 with a pervert’s setup of just learning through some binoculars like some guy that wears a beige vest and that just seems like something the Twins or some midwestern team would do.

This is Philadelphia.

This is the home of the bad image so let’s just embrace it and cheat our asses off.

Put a camera in the Phanatic’s snout.

Have that Lizard thing that eats the ball girl tip pitches.

I don’t care just do SOMETHING slimy that Howard Eskin can wag his finger at but the rest of us can rally behind.

Also I think this warrants a second shot at the Pivetta breakout year. His greatness was hindered by pitching for the only club that won’t cheat as pointed out in the below tweet that inspired this blog.

It's just sad that teams were clearly cheating and hitting trashcans in Pivetta only starts last year.

— Jack Fritz (@JackFritzWIP) January 15, 2020