No More Manning the Bench

NEW YORK — Eli Manning has been all but named the starter for Monday’s divisional matchup between the Giants and the Eagles, and Philadelphia should be elated. After the latter franchise waived Mack Hollins, they then received this good news in what has to be the best week for Eagles notifications all season long.

Manning comes in to replace rookie Daniel Jones, who reportedly has a high ankle injury that will “very likely” keep him sidelined for the foreseeable future. With the Giants eliminated from playoff contention, this can be chalked up to a lateral move at worst, though Manning’s recent success in securing better draft picks should bode well for the team.

Still, this will be Manning’s first start since Jones took over against Tampa Bay. Prior to being benched, Manning was on track for a 16:16 TD:INT ratio on the year. At 18:11, Jones has been eye-popping by Giants’ standards. The rookie had more touchdowns than interceptions in nearly half of his appearances (4 out of 10 starts), something Peyton’s little brother has only accomplished a handful of times in his career. The Eagles, meanwhile, are eager to make Manning a losing quarterback. When asked if Eli’s 116-116-0 all-time record is on their mind, the Anonymous Source responded, “hell yea.”

The Giants have worked out Nathan Peterman and my Aunt Sally in case Manning succumbs to any injury on the day. In other news, Colin Kaepernick has yet to be contacted by the organization.