REAL Fans Haven’t Watched the Phillies For Weeks

The first thing I’ll admit here is that I did watch the first few innings on Monday night but ONLY because MNF hadn’t started yet and I was looking for any way to ignore the lecture I was in.

But that was the first game I’ve watched in weeks because that’s what the REAL fans do. Only REAL fans ignore the team when they suck and have no shot at a playoff spot.

I’ve been saying for MONTHS that this team didn’t have what it takes and look, I was right. You fake fans let this team trick you into thinking they could push for a wildcard spot as recently as last week while all the REAL fans knew it was nothing.

I mean I did drink a little of the Charlie Manuel Kool-Aid for those two and a half days but that’s only because I’m SUCH a REAL fan that the ‘08 nostalgia took over. Somewhere deep down though we all knew (well the REAL fans did) that the season was already over.

If you sat there and watched this garbage baseball club for the last few weeks for any reason other than work or complete lack of anything else to do (ie. being in a boring lecture) then you are NOT a die hard fan of the Phillies. Sorry.

If you can watch a team’s slow death when it’s a million times easier to just watch something else (why weren’t you rewatching Breaking Bad?) then you’re sadistic and clearly don’t have the same love for this team as me.

I love the Phillies so much that I just couldn’t bring myself to watch them slowly bleed out.

The same people that watched the end of this season probably also like when Sonny dies in the Godfather or when Hank dies in Breaking Bad.

I bet you loved that you sick weirdos.

I love this team SO much that I refuse to see them fumble around, trip over their own feet and ruin my last memories of them. I get to remember when Andrew McCutchen played for this team and that awesome day when everyone thought Charlie Manuel fixed the team. It’s a shame you watched like 35 extra games that you now have to remember them forever.

So, while I hold sweet memories of the team I LOVE over the offseason you’ll all be miserable talking about “is Gabe Kapler the problem?” (no) or “is Matt Klentak the problem” (yes) or “who’s going to get fired this offseason” (Klentak). What a sad existence.

While all you fake fans grovel and moan, REAL fans, like me, will be anxiously awaiting next season to see what the team that we LOVE (more than fake fans) will do.

And then we’ll stop watching when they suck because THAT’S. WHAT. REAL. FANS. DO.

Now go listen to the Life of a Philly Fan Podcast. Even the fake fans.