Just Your Average 31 Point Performance on 85% Shooting From Mr. Average Ben Simmons Last Night
PSA to all of our opponents here on out for the rest of the playoffs: please just talk as much shit on as this Sixers team as possible, especially Ben Simmons. I LOVED the Ben Simmons Missing Jumper Flyers, add a few of those in there! Just flat out hate as much as you can.
To all the haters and losers, of which there are many, thanks for the little extra motivation you gave Ben last night when it was essential he played well without Embiid there to help. I’m not going out on a limb here by saying a game in which Ben missed precisely two shots and finished one off of his career high with 31 was the best game of his NBA career to date.
Jared Dudley, you chubby son of a bitch, you. Jared, you deserve the biggest thank you of them all, but in reality, you should really be thanking Ben. The more games he emasculates you in, the quicker you are set up to become a hack analyst on Get Up with Mike Greenberg. That’s clearly your passion after those “average” comments you made.
Referring to Ben Simmons as simply an “average” player in the halfcourt is moronic for a multitude of reasons but mainly:
1) Why give your opponent any extra motivation in the playoffs?
2) Saying Simmons is only effective in transition overlooks his amazing touch in the paint/around the rim. He has the touch every coach wishes their big man had…while playing point guard.
3) “It’s Jared Dudley, come on now”.
Don’t swing at a hornets nest then get mad when you get stung.
Lastly, as the person who made the Ban Kendall Jenner petition, it was an intriguing performance from Ben for me. Look, I’m sure it was just a coincidence that Ben Simmons dropped a career playoff high of 31 points (on 85% shooting) in the first game immediately after the break-up news dropped. No need to thank me. If you see me on the streets of Philly, no reason to pat me on the back. I’m sure it was just entirely coincidental.