Kristaps Porzingis, Who Didn’t Want to be Drafted by the Sixers Because They Were Losing, Got Traded From the Knicks Because They Can’t Stop Losing

What a wild day. I love these whirlwinds of rumors where every Woj tweet could mean the landscape of the NBA has shifted with a blockbuster trade. The rumors are flying and now not only AD, but also Kristaps could be gone by the trade deadline!

Remember when Kristaps Porzingis “expressed his concern” with working out for the Sixers pre-draft and he ended up a Knick because of it? Pepperidge Farm remembers.

After that whole debacle, you hate to see him end up with a franchise that sucked and continues to suck. Shame to see a talented player like Porzingis concerned with all the losing his team is doing. In unrelated news, congrats to the Sixers on snagging the third seed in the Eastern Conference last night!

From my bottom of sunken and beaten heart that had to watch the Jahlil Okafor disaster, I say to Kristaps: I could give two fucks less about where you’re happy playing basketball. Just another thing to distaste about Dallas.

Everything happens for a reason. If we land Kristaps, do we then still land Ben Simmons the following summer? Probably not. If Chip Kelly (oddly in the news a lot this week) doesn’t trade Nick Foles to the Rams, does Foles ever become Super Bowl MVP/BDN in his return to the Eagles? Probably not! Things have a funny way of working themselves out. But I for one, hope nothing works out for Kristaps Porzingis.

Ah, just another perfect day to bring back the best freezing cold take of all time:

By Aidan Powers | January 31, 2019