The Phillies Are Like a Sugar Daddy
This week on the Life of a Philly Fan Podcast, we declared something new. If you haven’t listened yet, you can do so riiiiiiiiight…HERE. What we decided is that every take we have from now on should be presented in the form of an analogy.
For instance, what I said was that the Wentz vs Foles debate is much like the Santa Claus gender debate. It’s media generated, fake outrage designed to get us fired up. No one actually cares about Santa’s gender, although it’s just a given that it’s a man (seeing as St. Nicholas was a man). But the media concocted that story of Santa’s gender neutrality because they knew it would stir the pot and initiate reactions. No one actually believes Foles is the future of this franchise, it’s a given that it’s Wentz. But the media has created this heated debate regarding who it should be in order to send us into a frenzy defending Wentz.
You get it, right? So, now that the wheels are spinning, this is what I’ve come up with: The Philadelphia Phillies are much like a sugar daddy.
See Jack Curry’s comments about Manny Machado to the Yankees and then we’ll get on with the analogy.
In here:
1. Manny indicated he wants to be a Yankee
2. Yankees might go to 7 or 8 years
3. Yankees believe Phillies will go 10 & blow their offer out of the water
4. When have players left yrs & money on the table? Almost never. https://t.co/Z6I4hf1nrA— John Stolnis (@JohnStolnis) December 21, 2018
As you know, Machado met with the Phillies for some four hours today and also met with a construction worker. But, there’s no doubt in my mind he wishes that was a pity meeting. He wants to be a Yankee. But, can the Yankees give him enough money to make it happen? Doesn’t sound like it.
Stars such as Bryce Harper and Machado are like the beautiful, young 20 some year old girls. Everyone finds them attractive, they’ve got everything going for them, and they catch everyone’s eye. They’d very much like to be with 10/10’s of the opposite sex. They want to be with the athlete on campus who wears shorter shorts so you can see his compression shorts to let you know he works out. Someone with the COOL FACTOR.
Except, that young girl needs/wants money. Money the cool kids don’t have. In steps a sugar daddy. They don’t have the looks, they don’t have the fashion, they lack the sauce. But, what they do have, is the ability to pull out the check book and make money moves. The ability to give sugar babies all the money they desire.
See, the Phillies may not have the looks (roster talent the Dodgers/Cubs do) and they don’t have the cool factor (The brand recognition the Yankees do). But, what they do have is unlimited financial resources to give those star players the money they desire. They may not be the first choice from an attraction stand point, but money can quickly change that.
The Yankees, Dodgers and Cubs are the cool kid in school. They’ve got everything going for them. Except, they don’t have the money the sugar daddy has. And the Philadelphia Phillies are the sugar daddy who can make things happen with the power of their checkbook.
I form this entire elaborate, long-winded analogy and then the Dodgers just hand their unwanted contracts to the Reds. Unreal. Really put a dent in my work by getting rid of every single player they needed to get rid of in order to sign Harper. I’m not a nerd so I don’t know if the Dodgers have cleared ENOUGH cap room in order to sign Harper. But the Sugar Daddy Phillies really may have to shatter records in order to ensure they land a star. I guess that was my point all along.