Breaking Down This Guy’s Takes on Philly Sports

Let me just preface this article by saying I don’t know this guy, but I feel like I know this guy.

When this guys face popped up on my screen last night during the Eagles/Falcons game I couldn’t help but cackle because that is your quintessential WIP caller.




So I’ve decided to breakdown this guys takes because, like I said, I may not know this guy, but I definitely know this guy.

First, let’s start off with his Twitter.

If he has a Twitter, he 100% has an egg as his profile pic and some iteration of “4 for 4” in his @. Also, this guy tweets in run-on sentences and is always yelling at you for some reason. Multiple misspellings make his work almost impossible to read and you’re left wondering why he’s so angry.

Now, the takes.




1. HATES Sam Hinkie

The most obvious take that this guy has is that Sam Hinkie was a fraud that only knew how to lose. Don’t even bother explaining why the Process was needed or why it made sense because all he saw was the win-loss record and was floored that anyone could support a guy like that.

Also, definitely uses Brett Brown’s win/loss record as a reason for why he’s not a good coach. That feels like another one of this guys takes.




2. LOATHES Gabe Kapler

“WHAT HAVE ANALYTICS EVER WON IN BASEBALL”

*points to the Astros, Dodgers, Cubs, Red Sox, Yankees*

Let me just get all of this guy’s baseball takes out of the way. Hates analytics, hates shifts, hated the Carlos Santana signing because it made Rhys feel uncomfortable at the plate (which isn’t true), Klentak is a moron, wanted Kingery up here immediately and the final most obvious take that this guy has “Odubel Herrera is lazy and isn’t a winning player.” This guy hates Odubel Herrera, there’s no doubt in my mind.

He was there at the home opener and booed the shit out of Gabe Kapler. He said he wouldn’t make it the All Star break. Definitely can’t understand him putting Carlos Santana in the lead-off spot, all that jazz.

Pitcher hitting 8th? You would think this guy had a heart-attack.




3. Definitely didn’t like Doug but now acts like Doug’s biggest fan

There’s no doubt in my mind that this guy called into WIP two offseasons ago complaining about Doug Pederson and how he’s not the guy to lead this football team or some bullshit. That’s what people do with managers and GM’s in this town. They’re literally a moron until they win a championship. So stupid, but whatever.

Now, after Doug Pederson is a Super Bowl champ, this guy now acts like the biggest Doug supporter ever. The same thing happened with Charlie Manuel. Charlie Manuel was a bumbling idiot until he hoisted the World Series trophy and now, in this guy’s eyes he’s “Cholly.”

The one thing that this guy was right about was Nick Foles. While the media was all down on Foles, this guy stuck up for him sighting “27-2” and that Jeff Fisher ruined him.




Point for this guy.

So that’s it. Like I said, I think I nailed it. We all know this guy without knowing this guy.

I look forward to him calling in in a few weeks, after the Eagles are 3-1 with Nick Foles playing mediocre football, telling hosts that Carson should stay on the bench because “all Nick Foles does is win.”

It’ll be a blast.