Good to See the Cowboys Are Imploding Already


Well, we’re like two practices into training camp and the Cowboys are already up to their old ways. The roster is looking mediocre on paper, the owner is acting like the old white elitist asshole he is and Dez Bryant is being a team cancer…despite not being on the team. Oh, and Sean Lee is hurt. Nah, I’m just messing with you but apparently he’s a snake! What a day in the land of 8-8. 

So, the Cowboys 2018 campaign to not make the playoffs and keep Jason Garett anyway got off to a hot start. Their owner was back in the headlines commanding all his players to stand for the anthem. Luckily, Malcolm Jenkins was to the rescue: 

There needs to be a statue made for Malcom Jenkins when it’s all said and done but that’s another article for another day. As for Jerry Jones, I don’t understand how Cowboys fans can stand him in any capacity. He doesn’t make any football decisions, his son, Stephen runs the team without the title. Jerry is just there to shoot his mouth off to the press and cause controversy. “Jerry’s World” isn’t a large stadium with a big Jumbo-Tron. It’s a dimension the rich 1% live in where they are so out of touch with reality they don’t see how ignorant their anthem hot takes are.

Speaking of someone shooting their mouth off, THROW. UP. THE. X.

Dez Bryant has a lot of free time on his hands these days so he’s spending it on Twitter, criticizing his former team.

Love it. The only way to get a new job is by criticizing your former employer. Bold strategy Cotton. I don’t actually disagree with Dez on everything he said. If you go toe to toe with Nate Sudfeld and muster a 7-6 win, you’re offense is ass. Regardless, you do get the feeling the locker room is relieved to be done with this guy.

Ah, it feels so good to have a cancer free locker room. These days I just kick back and focus on Carson Wentz’ health while he makes sex jokes. I know what the comments will say. “Why are you worried about the Cowboys when we won the Super Bowl”? Simply put, I want more, I want a dynasty. That starts with dominating your division. The Cowboys constantly imploding certainly helps the possibility for us to do so. Here’s hoping for another dumpster fire in Dallas this year. 

By Aidan Powers | July 27, 2018