Jake Arrietta is All of Ours’s Daddy and Will be Respected as Such

You just got picked up from school. The teacher called home to your dad today because you were acting up. You have a juice box in dads spotless Accord and you accidentally spill it making a sticky mess on the seat. Dad takes a deep breath as your life flashes before your eyes and he goes into a ten-minute rant about how you need a to grow up and act more responsible.

 

You are the Phillies.

 

Your Daddy is Jake Arrietta.

 

I was anxious for these guys when I saw the video. Especially lil’ Scotty Jetpax. Jake had absolutely every right to go in of the team and I stand behind every word he said. This is a very young squad and this is the very reason Matt Klentak and Co. brought Jake in. He was always meant to be a mentor to Nola and the rotation but if he is going to father everyone then so be it.

 

The Phils scored precisely one run in the sweep by the Giants, a solo dinger by Mr. Arrietta himself.

 

Because of course, right?

 

Put yourself in Jake’s shoes for just one second and imagine the frustration. All the guy knows is winning and I’m elated that he isn’t settling for anything less.

 

Not to sound too much like Chip Kelly but the culture of the Phillies needs to change and the firm hand of Jake Arietta is just what the doctor ordered.

 

I’ve been in locker rooms before enough to know that the team looks up to Jake and I know they took this rant to heart. The difference between them and my AAU coach, however, is that Jake is a Cy Young winning Silver Slugger and my AAU coach was just somebody’s dad.

 

The line here is experience and respect. The team respects Jake and they don’t want to disappoint him. If I’m Scott I definitely apologized to Jake and had a conversation with him picking his brain to better myself as a ballplayer and being as I’m writing a blog right now and he’s in the MLB I’m willing to guess he already thought of and did this.

 

All that being said, it is Friday now and they just finished two heart breaking losses on Wednesday and Thursday to the Cubs after a promising 6-1 shitpumping Tuesday. The bats weren’t a huge issue, we scored runs despite a huge lack of smart situaltional hitting, it was the defense that drove me insane but that’s a different blog for a different day.

 

Jake and the Cubbies didn’t part on the best of terms and maybe they’re a little salty about placing all their eggs in an injured, Yu Darvish shaped basket.

 

So this series loss isn’t a great look for Jake or the organization.

 

After Dad’s rant are you going to come home and kick a ball in the house and break the TV or are you going to do your homework and take the trash out and mow the lawn crisscross just how dad likes it?

 

Exactly.

 

Jake didn’t pitch but it almost would have been more of a baller, dad move to sit in the dugout, arms crossed calmly watching the squad you just took the reins of absolutely obliterate your old team who basically said they didn’t believe in you anymore.

 

The team owed Jake the win Tuesday and they all knew it. Nine hits from nine different batters. That’s not the rarest of gems but I defy you to show me a more obviously terrified lineup. They each served up a hit with a little bow on it for poppy Jake as an early Father’s Day present.

 

The narrative is writing itself here. You saw the same thing with JJ Reddick mentoring the Sixers’ young guys. The seniors (who weren’t busy hazing) mentoring the freshman.

 

The Phillies haven’t added a big name like this in years (RIP Doc). It’s going to take the gentle guiding hand of father Jake to lift the team out of the pathetic skid they’ve fallen into.

 

Welcome to Philly, Daddy Jake.