SOURCES: Everyone’s Coming to Philly

This week, Philadelphia sports twitter exploded after Ben Simmons mysteriously tweeted the eyeball emoji at Lebron James. You would think that after a few days, the dust would’ve settled, we would’ve gotten back to reality and got ready for the annual ritual of complaining that Eagles training camp is no longer at Lehigh. Instead, we have gone far off the deep end and  full throttle with Lebron to Philly rumors after he tweeted a Happy Birthday message to Simmons and then this BOMBSHELL dropped:

Kyrie abandoning Lebron only pushes him further to the edge that is July 2018 free agency and potentially leaving for a more promising situation, like Philadelphia. I, for one,CANNOT wait for Lebron to join the Sixers, take all the credit for any success we have when he teams up with our young core and watch ticket prices soar to the heavens where Hinkie resides because Lebron stans hop on the bandwagon to Philadelphia.

It is going to take me forever to delete all my old tweets bashing Lebron but I am willing to put in the effort if it means another parade. But, why stop with the greatest player alive? Why not add an All-Star who has beaten him twice in the NBA Finals:

Lost on the roller coaster of the constant flurry of NBA offseason rumors, is that Giancarlo Stanton becoming a Philly has become a more realistic possibility than Lebron becoming a Sixer:

“Calm down”, the cynics say, there is no way somebody like Stanton will ever be launching shots into Ashburn Alley while wearing a Phillies uni. I mean, Stanton is a two time MVP who is only 27 and regularly has an OPS over .900.

Well, actually there might be a chance. The Marlins are in a unique situation. Owner Jeffrey Loria is eager to sell the franchise and there are three sets of bidders (incidentally, one group includes Derek Jeter and another includes Jeb Bush).  Loria is demanding $1.2 billion for the Marlins. That’s an awful lot of money for a team with the worst attendance in all of baseball that has no real regional television contract. Philadelphia gets more fans for drafts than the Marlins get for games.

And what makes it worse is that the Marlins have a debt load of $400 million. And on top of that, they are committed to outrageous long-term contracts with about eight players, starting with $ 325 million owed to Stanton for the next 13 years. So, the theory goes, the sales price heads way up if the Marlins can unload some of those contracts.

Okay, but why the Phillies? Well, the small market teams cannot possibly afford a contract like that. And figures that big would take some of the big market teams way over the cap and they will be paying a penalty for the next decade. There is, in fact, only one big market team with no long term commitments. That would be your Philadelphia Phillies.

Stanton just got done absolutely ripping the Phillies apart, hitting three dingers in their series as he continues his pace towards 50 on the year. Despite the dinger fest he put on during the series it was his off the field remarks that were even more eye opening. Stanton said after losing to the Phillies,

“If you can’t win a series against the worst team in the league, then there’s not much going for you. If [my homers] aren’t enough to help us win, then personal stuff doesn’t matter, I’ve had enough personal stuff. If we don’t win, it’s not that fun.”

This quote is awesome. If Sam Hinkie has taught me anything it is that being the worst only leads to goods things. In this case, Giancarlo and the Marlins losing to the trainwreck that is the 2017 Phillies  is actually so humiliating that it’s actually going to land Giancarlo on the Phillies.

I CAN’T WAIT FOR LEBRON AND GIANCARLO TO BE PLAYING IN THE SAME CITY AGAIN. PHILLY IS THE NEW MIAMI.