Way-Too-Early, Likely Very Wrong, Eagles Season Prediction

With Eagles training camp beginning Tuesday after a very successful offseason, there are reasons for hope for the 2022 Birds. Despite the continued uncertainty with Jalen Hurts at the quarterback position, the vibes around this team are fantastic. This year’s version of the Eagles has a little bit of everything.

 

There are some wiley veterans from the Super Bowl team in Jason Kelce, Fletcher Cox, and Lane Johnson. There are some veterans who weren’t on that team, yet are at the top of their game in Darius Slay, Javon Hargrave, and Dallas Goedert. Then, there are the wave of youngsters that will be the core of the Birds for the foreseeable future in Devonta Smith, Jordan Davis, and Nakobe Dean. And who could forget about the newly acquired players at desperate positions of need in A.J. Brown and James Bradberry?

 

The Eagles are not only a trendy pick to win the NFC East this season, they’re a popular pick to win the division. We all know about the stat that comes up on every nationally televised broadcast: the NFC East hasn’t had a repeat champion since the McNabb-era Birds in ’03 and ’04. With the Cowboys having won the division last year, coupled with the fact that they got worse, and the idea of the Eagles winning the division this season isn’t crazy at all.

 

The over/under for Birds wins at this point in time is 9.5. Considering this team won nine games last season, without even looking at the schedule I say smash that over. The only reason I can fathom for the win total being so low is because of the Hurts factor, and the aforementioned uncertainty for what exactly we should expect from him. The bottom line is that the dude’s a winner, and if he got you nine wins with last season’s roster, there’s no reason to believe they will be worse this season. Famous last words before disaster.

 

Week 1: Eagles @ Lions, 1 pm FOX

 

Is there such a thing as an opening week trap game? If there was, I think this would be it. The Eagles come into this game as hyped up offseason champions with heightened expectations. The Lions come into this game as a different squad than the one that lost last year to the Birds by a score of 44-6.

 

Dan Campbell is a good coach with a solid coaching staff around him. I may be one of the few people left that don’t think Jared Goff is completely awful. Yes, this team was the last one to get a victory in 2021. Yet, they sneakily won three of their final six games, two of which were against playoff teams, and their offense was superb in those games.

 

The Eagles open up as four point favorites in this one, which I think is pretty spot on. The Eagles should win this game and they likely will, but I expect it to be a lot closer than some in the Delaware Valley anticipate.

 

Eagles 25, Lions 22. Eagles record: 1-0

 

Week 2: Vikings @ Eagles, 8:30 pm ABC (MNF)

 

The Eagles home opener comes on a Monday night against another NFC North opponent. The Vikings, like the Eagles, are a trendy pick to win their division. Be prepared for all the nauseating conversations about the fact that the Eagles passed on Vikings wideout Justin Jefferson in the 2020 Draft.

 

 

People love to bring up the fact that Vikings quarterback Kirk Cousins is a fraud, which I tend to agree with. That being said, he has had a ton of success against the Eagles in his career, as he’s 6-3 against the Birds while averaging over 300 passing yards in those games.

 

With a new offensive-minded head coach in Kevin O’Connell, I expect this team to be much improved from their 2021 campaign. This goes against every fiber of my being, but don’t be shocked if the Birds lose this one.

 

Vikings 31, Eagles 26. Eagles record: 1-1

 

Week 3:  Eagles @ Commanders, 1 pm FOX

 

Well, well, well. The first installment of the Carson Wentz revenge game. The narratives write themselves, and this will be a week with no shortage of storylines as Wentz faces the Birds for the first time since he pouted his way out of town. Now on his third team in three years, Wentz is simply attempting to save his career.

 

Outside of Wentz, the Commanders aren’t exactly terrible. They have some great individual players in Terry McLaurin, Jonathan Allen, Daron Payne, and Chase Young. They’re defensive line is one of the best in football. This team always seems to give the Eagles fits, regardless of how good they are.

 

Head coach Ron Rivera is a great NFL coach when it comes to connecting with his players. In terms of the X’s and O’s, though, he leaves something to be desired. For the sanity of their fanbase, the Eagles cannot lose this game, and I don’t think they will.

 

Eagles 30, Commanders 22. Eagles record: 2-1

 

Week 4: Jaguars @ Eagles, 1 pm CBS

 

Back-to-back revenge games for 2017 Eagles folk heroes. Former Eagles coach Doug Pederson comes back to Philly for the first time as he brings his new look Jaguars to the Linc. I imagine Pederson’s reception will be much better than Wentz’s in mid-November.

 

When it comes to the on field stuff though, the Eagles are better than Jacksonville in every facet of the sport. I think Trevor Lawrence will be better with a real NFL coach this season, but any team paying $21 million to Christian Kirk cannot be taken seriously. Pederson will have the Jags better than they were a season ago, but that’s not saying a whole lot.

 

Eagles 34, Jaguars 16. Eagles record: 3-1

 

Week 5: Eagles @ Cardinals, 4:25 pm FOX

 

The Cardinals have essentially been the same team every year under Kliff Kingsbury (ridiculous name) and newly-extended quarterback Kyler Murray. They are one of the best teams in September and October, and look to be a real threat come January. Then, once the calendar turns to November, they fold better than any chair you’ve ever sat in at a barbecue.

 

Unfortunately for the Eagles, they have the not-so-great pleasure of playing Arizona early in the season. Also, the Eagles haven’t won a game in Arizona since the year of our lord 2001. That, combined with the fact that every time the Eagles play there all I can think of is the 2008 NFC Championship game, and it’s nothing but horrendous vibes.

 

The one thing working in the Eagles favor in this game is that star receiver DeAndre Hopkins will miss this game due to a suspension. I don’t think it will make a difference. The Eagles lose their first heartbreaker of the year.

 

Cardinals 30, Eagles 27 (OT). Eagles record: 3-2

 

Week 6: Cowboys @ Eagles, 8:20 pm NBC (SNF)

 

The Eagles haven’t beaten the Cowboys since November of 2020, a Sunday night game in Philly that featured the battered remains of Carson Wentz and Ben DiNucci. The Linc will undoubtedly be rockin’ for this game, the second night game of the season.

 

The Cowboys lost a lot of pieces in the offseason. Amari Cooper, La’el Collins, and Randy Gregory are all gone. This Cowboys defense, outside of do-it-all linebacker Micah Parsons, is poised for regression. Trevon Diggs is one of the most overrated players my eyes have ever seen. Ezekiel Elliott is a shell of his former self, and they’re paying him $15 million this year.

 

However, the x-factor is Dak Prescott, who always seems to torch the Birds. With less weapons heading into this season, though, I like the Birds chances of getting their first victory over Dallas in two years.

 

Oh, and most importantly, Fuck Dallas.

 

 

Eagles 37, Cowboys 27. Eagles record: 4-2

 

Week 7: Bye

 

This either gives us fans an extra week to gloat about the Birds win over Dallas or an extra week to agonize over a loss. Either way, fans calling into Philly radio will be full of toxicity. That’s actually pretty par for the course.

 

If you’re looking for ways Philly sports can fill your time, lord knows the Phillies won’t be playing. I think the NBA regular season will begin sometime around here (they still haven’t released their schedule), so you can check out the Sixers, who usually look like the ’96 Bulls early on. Don’t watch the team they share the arena with though.

 

Week 8: Steelers @ Eagles, 1 pm CBS

 

The Steelers, in a lot of ways, are the opposite of the Cowboys. The roster is oozing with talent essentially everywhere but quarterback. They’re a the definition of a stable organization with an elite coaching staff. The only thing they don’t have? A legitimate quarterback.

 

Whether it’s Mitch Trubisky or Kenny Pickett under center for Pittsburgh in this game, I expect the Eagles to defense to shine. I anticipate this game being an ugly, defensive-focused football game where points will be hard to come by. When it comes down to it, I trust the Birds offense more than the Steelers offense.

 

Eagles 19, Steelers 9. Eagles record: 5-2

 

Week 9: Eagles @ Texans, 8:15 pm Amazon Prime (Yuck) (TNF)

 

A short week in the NFL is brutal, and one of the worst things for the players. With that being said, if there were any team in the league I’d want to face on a short week, it’d probably be the Houston Texans.

 

Unlike a lot of people, I’m not on the Davis Mills hype train (I can’t believe that’s a thing). This roster is not only bad, it’s depleted of much depth. On a short week in the middle of the season, I imagine both teams will be battling injuries. I’ll put my faith in the deeper roster and the better team, though there is potential for this to be a trap game.

 

At least the Texans will be wearing these awesome helmets.

 

 

Eagles 34, Texans 15. Eagles record: 6-2 

 

Week 10: Commanders @ Eagles, 8:15 pm, ESPN (MNF)

 

This is the Carson Wentz revenge game we’re all waiting for. Sure, Wentz will undoubtedly face a ton of Eagles fans when the Birds go to Lincoln Financial Field South in Landover, but this atmosphere will be a notch above. In what will be the Birds third night game at the Linc out of their first nine games, a crazy scheduling quirk, the fans will be as raucous as ever.

 

With the Birds likely to be firmly cemented in the playoff conversation, and the Commanders likely not in that same conversation, this should be a fun game for every fan in attendance. I can see this game being non-competitive, with the Eagles in control throughout. I mentioned the Commanders star individuals earlier on, but as a group this isn’t a very cohesive team.

 

The only question that remains is whether Carson Wentz will even be playing in this game. Will he be hurt? Or, even more hilariously, benched? For his sake, he better hope so. I imagine this is not a game he’s looking forward to.

 

Eagles 31, Commanders 15. Eagles record: 7-2.

 

Week 11: Eagles @ Colts, 1 pm CBS

 

From facing Wentz to facing his former team, the team Howie Roseman convinced to give the Eagles a conditional first round pick. Now, the Colts have their fifth different signal caller in five years, in Matt Ryan (try to think of those five guys and I’ll reveal the answers below).

 

While past his prime years, I believe Ryan still has plenty in the tank. Let’s be honest, all this Colts team really needs is an average, serviceable quarterback. I think Ryan is slightly above that, which makes them the odds-on favorites to come out of the AFC South.

 

The Colts have one of the two best running backs in the league in Jonathan Taylor, who’s running behind one of the best offensive lines in football. Defensively, this is a unit that is coming off of a season where they lead the league in takeaways. A solid defensive line lead by Deforest Buckner and a strong linebacker unit lead by Darius Leonard rounds out this team as one of the best in the AFC. Former friend of the program Frank Reich will hand the Birds their first loss since early October.

 

Colts 27, Eagles 17. Eagles record: 7-3

 

The 5 Colts QB’s in 5 years: Andrew Luck (2018), Jacoby Brissett (2019, when Luck retired in the preseason), Philip Rivers (2020), Ginger Jesus (2021), Ryan (2022)

 

Week 12: Packers @ Eagles, 8:20 pm NBC (SNF)

 

This is unreal. This will be the Birds FOURTH night game at the Linc out of their first six home games (spoiler: it is the last scheduled one). This night game might pose the biggest challenge for the Birds in the 2022 season. While the Packers lost a lot of weapons on offense, including all-world receiver Davante Adams, they still have that baaaad man Aaron Rodgers.

 

Rodgers is one of those quarterbacks where it really doesn’t matter who’s lining up at receiver for him. He’s going to make them better because he’s the one throwing to them. People snooze, but the Packers defense is one of the best in the league, and certainly wasn’t the reason they went home early in January.

 

They have an elite secondary with Jaire Alexander, Eric Stokes, and former friend of the program Rasul Douglas (who was infuriating when he was here). Their defense got even better with the addition of rookie linebacker Quay Walker, who was apart of that historic Georgia defense a year ago.

 

This will be a true test for the Eagles. If they win this game, they’re a legitimate playoff team. Even if they don’t, they likely still are. But they certainly won’t have the respect of the NFC’s elite with a loss here. Hopefully I feel different by week 12.

 

Packers 31, Eagles 22. Eagles record: 7-4

 

Week 13: Titans @ Eagles, 1 pm FOX

 

The Eagles will be tested for a third straight week. Luckily for them, I think Tennessee is a step below their previous two opponents. Yes, they have one of the most feared players in the league in running back Derrick Henry, but his health at this point in the season is a question mark.

 

Let’s get to the real story line here: A.J. Brown revenge game. There isn’t a doubt in my mind that Brown has this game circled on his calendar. I expect him to have a big game in this one, because frankly, the Titans secondary doesn’t impress me.

 

Part of the reason I think the Colts are the odds-on favorites to win the AFC South is because I expect a rather large drop off from the Titans this season. This roster is a lot like their secondary: unimpressive. Despite being the #1 seed in the AFC a year ago, many people still weren’t sold on them. They proved those people right with a downright ugly loss to Cincinnati.

 

One of the reasons for that loss was quarterback Ryan Tannehill. I think he will be the main reason this team regresses, and he’ll be the main reasons the Birds get a big win they desperately need.

 

Eagles 24, Titans 16. Eagles record: 8-4

 

Week 14: Eagles @ Giants, 1 pm FOX

 

My brothers and sisters in Christ, I still have no idea how the Eagles lost to the Giants at the Meadowlands a season ago.

 

 

Oh, right. I’m still not over it. For our sakes, I hope the Eagles aren’t over it either. This is the trappiest of all trap games to ever exist. Coming off of a tough 3-game stretch, the schedule starts to lighten a bit, starting with this game. The Eagles cannot look past this team, not because they’re good, but because I quite simply would not handle a loss to this team well.

 

The Giants roster is bad. Sure, they could improve under Brian Daboll, who’s a far cry better than any of the jokers they’ve had running that ship the past couple of years. When it comes down to it, this team is thin in depth and still devoid of major talent, despite drafting two of the top players in the draft this season. Oh, and Daniel Jones is their quarterback.

 

Eagles 27, Giants 13. Eagles record: 9-4

 

Week 15: Eagles @ Bears, 1 pm FOX

 

Yeah, listen, I’d love to put this in the same boat as the previous games in terms of trap games. Truth be told, the Bears might be one of the worst teams in the league this season. I fully expect them to be in contention for the top pick in the 2023 draft.

 

Justin Fields is good, and I believe he will be a good quarterback eventually. Just not in 2022, not behind that offensive line, and not with that roster. The Eagles cannot lose this game, and I don’t expect them to, although Soldier Field is a horrible place to play in December.

 

Eagles 31, Bears 12. Eagles record: 10-4

 

Week 16: Eagles @ Cowboys, 4:25 pm FOX

 

Buckle up folks, this is the big one. At this point, if the Eagles aren’t in first place with a record of 10-4, it’s because these assholes have a better or similar record. If that’s the case, this game will likely decide the division. The fact that this game is on Christmas Eve has the potential to ruin Christmas for the entire family.

 

The Birds haven’t beaten the Cowboys in Dallas since the magical year that was 2017. This is yet another test for the Eagles to prove their legitimacy to the fan base, the rest of the league, and most importantly themselves. The Eagles have the better roster on paper, though there’s no telling how either team will look come this point in the season.

 

The Eagles are going to need some Christmas magic to win this puppy. I think they get it. Think James Bradberry pulling his best Brandon Boykin, circa 2013. Merry Christmas and happy holidays, Dallas.

 

 

Eagles 32, Cowboys 29 (OT), Eagles record: 11-4

 

Week 17: Saints @ Eagles, 1 pm FOX

 

At this point in the season, the Eagles will likely have the NFC East all wrapped up in a neat little bow. If not, they will likely have the next two weeks to clinch it. After all of the drama the week before, in a game the Eagles absolutely had to have, they’ll come into this week emotionally spent.

 

This game is the ultimate letdown spot in football. The Saints, at least in my foresight, will be fighting for their playoff lives this week. They had one of the better defenses in the league a year ago and I don’t anticipate that changing in 2022. With a full year of the healthy Jameis Winston experience, I think this Saints roster is good enough to be a playoff team.

 

With that, I see the Eagles losing this one. No need to press the panic button, though, because the Cowboys fell to the Titans on a short week after a holiday. The Eagles will have already clinched the division before the balls even kicked.

 

Saints 23, Eagles 17, Eagles record: 11-5

 

Week 18: Giants @ Eagles, Date & Time TBD

 

In terms of the division, I don’t think this game will matter. The only way it could matter, at least in my projection, is in terms of seeding in the NFC playoffs.

 

Nick Sirianni strikes me as a guy who doesn’t put a whole lot of value into seeding, especially if the all-important #1 seed is off the table (remember only the top team in each conference receives a bye). We saw a glimpse of that last season, when Sirianni opted to rest all of his starters in week 18 with a playoff spot already clinched. I anticipate he’d treat this situation the same way.

 

The Eagles still somehow win with their backups, because Giants.

 

Eagles 16, Giants 13. Eagles record: 12-5

 

Final Projections

 

Eagles win the NFC East for the first time since 2019, and earn the NFC’s #3 seed behind Tampa Bay and Los Angeles. Jalen Hurts has a really productive season, where he fine tunes all of the mistakes he made in 2021. He still doesn’t wow anyone with his passing ability, but he proves that he’s a winner.

 

A.J. Brown and Devonta Smith each have 1,000 yard seasons. The defense makes a dramatic improvement and is a top ten unit in the league. Nakobe Dean blossoms into a star and Haason Reddick ends the year with double digit sacks. Darius Slay is a pro bowler once again. Miles Sanders does the impossible and scores a touchdown.

By Matt Szczypiorski | July 26, 2022
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