Jimmy Butler is Not Starting His Tenure in Philly on the Greatest of Terms

Well, the title should read “Jimmy Butler is Not Starting his Tenure in Philly on Good Terms WITH ME”.

The Sixers’ new weapon has officially rubbed this blogger the wrong way.

First, we lost two angels fallen from heaven in the trade. Dario and Cov are one of a kind and can never be replaced. So, I’m obviously going to project these upset emotions I have from missing two members of my family (yes, we’re all part of the Sixers’ family) onto Butler in the form of skepticism and disdain.

It’s the step-parent effect, I guess. “You’re not my Dad, Ron, you can’t tell me to take the trash out. YOU CAN’T COME INTO MY HOUSE AND TELL ME I HAVE TO START SHOOTING THE BALL.” In a society where 50% of marriages end in divorce (I think. No chance I’m doing the research on that) a lot of you probably have a “Step-Ron”. He is the target of your teenage pent up confusion and that’s what Jimmy Butler is getting from me right now.

I feel like many fans may be able to relate to that feeling…

On a completely personal note and, therefore, a far more important one, I wrote a fantastic article that will never see the light of day because of the trade. It was all about Joel’s “Family” Instagram post and how the team’s chemistry was better than Walter White’s. That Breaking Bad analogy went on for paragraphs and paragraphs and was brilliant and spot on and hilarious but you’ll never ever get to read it.

“Hey Vince”, you’re probably saying,” how come I can’t read what seems to be an amazing article by my favorite blogger on the internet?” you’re saying.

Well, my loyal subjects, it’s because it was set to come out the morning after the OT thriller win against Hornets, but nope. Jimmy “Step-Ron” Butler had to mosey on into Philly the next morning at 12:45 (maybe?) thus killing my masterpiece. I mean every gem I drop is the best thing you’ll read all day but that one was special. So, sorry folks, its dead.

Now, Jimmy Butler may end up being a great piece of a championship roster but in light of these feelings, he is certainly fighting an uphill battle to win my affection. Just like Step-Ron has to buy Marianne’s kids new bikes, Butler has to buy me a slew of W’s before I let him act like “The Man of the House”.

So, good luck Jimmy, with the ever-important task of winning this bloggers approval.

P.S. I realize this article was as relatable as PFT putting his backpack on the Hot Seat for having bad straps or whatever, but we all need an outlet for our sports emotions.